Shattered Angel
by Lurvy-chan
Summary: After an abusive fake relationship with Ivan, Taska is left alone completely broken hearted. She feels as though she has gone into complete madness as she suffers in a great depression and yearns for eithet love or death. Can Eduard save her from making the mistake that may cost her life? (Rated T for abuse and swearing. Nyo Latvia)
1. Chapter 1

_I looked down at her. _

_Her violet lust filled half lidded eyes met my blue green ones. Her face was shaded a crimson red and she breathed slowly. _

_"I... Love you... Eduard." _

_I smiled warmly, "Oh Taska..." I leaned down into another passionate kiss as if to say, _

_"I love you too." _

* * *

**Latvia POV:**

I should've known from the start something like this would happen. But my heart refused to believe it.

Our "fake" relationship was over.

Sad thing is, I didn't know it was fake.

I was crushed now all because of one horrible man.

Ivan Braginsky.

Whom I once thought I loved but really I was only lying to myself.

A relationship.

That's all I've ever wanted.

Maybe I was just reading too many romance novels.

But I really believed in it for awhile.

I thought during the time of the Soviet Union relationship we had I would be happy.

But he dumped me when it was all over.

I thought for all those years he was my lover when really he was just heart breaker in disguise.

Now what was I supposed to do?

I couldn't cry anymore because I had cried out all the tears I had.

Couldn't sleep because I had nightmares.

Can't force myself to eat, I'd just barf it up again.

Can't go outside because the sun's out.

Hell, I can't even move right now.

I sat up slightly in my bed and pulled out a pill bottle from under my pillow. I forcefully gulped down another pain killer, numbing my pain but only making my head spin and making me more delusional.

_Pain, it stabs like a knife_

_But not like you_

_You were my life. _

* * *

**Estonia POV:**

I sighed as I finished typing my twenty page document. The last of my Soviet Union release forms were done, finally! I had worked on this for several days, barely moving from my computer but it was all worth it.

All worth it to get out of this soviet hell I'd been in for decades.

I leaned back in my chair slightly feeling way more relaxed and calm.

I could now just get this all over with.

No more Russians.

No more communism.

No more killings.

No more sharing a bed with Toris and...

Taska.

Well I was actually going to miss that.

The times I could be closet to her.

Latvia: The smallest, youngest, cutest, and only female Baltic.

I remember those nights when she snuck into my room when we were kids. Back then we were sort of... Together. We were Livonia; Latvia and Estonia.

* * *

**Flashback: **

_I ran through the meadow in search of the new country. My leader told me it- well we didn't know its gender yet- was crying in a field somewhere nearby. _

_Finally I made it. In the middle of the grain sat a small little girl crying silently. When her violet eyes caught glimpse of me, she attacked- well not attacked more like gripped me in a hug. _

_"Oh yay! I found you!" She cheered, though technically I found her. _

_I couldn't help a smile from growing, "So you're the other part of Livonia I take it?" _

_She gasped, "How did you know?!" _

_"Lucky guess...?"_

_Her hug only got tighter, "That must mean you're my husband right~?" _

_I blushed, we were only bonded, "Ah ha n-not exactly... But I guess uh s-sorta." _

_"Oh goodie!" Her cute smile glimmered, "We're hubby and wifu!" _

_This girl was truly unusual. _

_But I couldn't help but love her. _

* * *

_As years went by, me and Latvia were technically a couple. A very childish marriage but none the less together. We even gave each other human names. _

_She named me Eduard Von Bock. _

_I named her Taska Galante. _

_"Why not Aija?" She asked. _

_"Why would you be named that?" _

_"That's what the other boy calls me." _

_"What-" Then I remembered something. _

_We had a neighbor. Well actually three. _

_Lithuania, Poland, and that one other country who's under the rule of Tartar. Out of all the things I knew then, Tartar being bad was one of them. _

_"Stay away from him." I said not trying to make it an order. _

_She frowned, "Why?" _

_"He's connected with very bad and unsafe people that will take you away." I took her hand,"I can't loose you. You're the other half of me." _

_She perked up again," Okay Eddy!" _

_I smiled slightly again, "So Taska or Aija?" _

_"Taska. Anything by you is special!" My face flushed. _

* * *

_Then we were separated, no longer Livonia. We were then deemed Estonia and Latvia and made independent only to be ruled by Poland. _

_I watched as she slept on the windowsill peacefully, pushing my glasses up with a single finger. Everything was wonderful in our little cabin home. We weren't technically married anymore but it still seemed like that. We would hold hands when we walked through our villages, kiss each other on the cheek every once in awhile, and sometimes sleep in the same bed. Toris said we were almost inseparable and Feliks said we were a cute couple. She would blush and I would chuckle at their comments. _

_Nothing had changed except for our growth. She had gotten a little taller and had gotten... Well a lot taller than her. Her chest size also increased slightly which worried me for some reason. I was fifteen ish and she was thirteen ish. But other than physical changes we were fine and in my opinion, perfect. Though I would sometimes catch Taska staring in the mirror looking troubled. _

_I heard a knock and went to go answer the door. When I opened it I was immediately hugged by one of my good friends Finland. _

_"Estonia~!" He cheered almost sounding relieved. _

_"F-Finland? I wasn't expecting you today." I laughed and saw standing behind my friend a tall scary looking guy, "Um who-" _

_"Oh this is Mister Sweden!" He still smiled but his expression said "HELP!" _

_"Who is it~?" Taska yawned coming by my side and gently holding my arm, "Oh hi Fin~!" _

_He grinned, "Latvia! It's so nice to see you!" He gave her a light hug. _

_It was sort of like a mini reunion until it all came crashing down with the Sweden man said something absurd. _

* * *

_ "W-we're owned by t-two people now?!" She put her head down on the table after reading the new treaty. _

_"Well not necessarily owned 'owned' per say." I sat next to her trying to make things better, "Everything's going to be fine Taska." _

_She looked up with tears in her eyes, "Why can't we just be independent for once?" She continued to pout as I gave her a small hug. _

_"As long as we're safe and have each other, I think we'll be okay." _

_She smiled slightly past her tear stained face, "Y-yeah I guess..." She hiccuped as I held her closer. _

* * *

_It was a big dinner that the three of us "Baltic Nations" hosted. We all lived in the same house now, Lithuania, Latvia, and I. It wasn't the same as old times of course because it just used to be me and her. But we were fine with it, it's not like she would die or I would die if we weren't close. _

_At the end of the night, Taska and I decided to do dishes duty. After all, Toris had cooked most of the feast so we felt it was our job to help out in the end. I cleaned while she dried as Lithuania let out the last couple of guests. The room was seemingly silent except for her slight humming. Then the peace was broken when she actually broke a dish. It seemed to shatter in her hands as my first instinct was to take her to the bathroom. _

_The tears came streaming out of her eyes when she realized her palms were bleeding. I quickly got a wet rag and wrung it out, then started lightly wetting her wounds. _

_"Does it sting?" I was worried as always. _

_"I-it's fine, ow!" She sniffed trying not to complain even though I knew it hurt. _

_"What happened?!" Toris gasped as he walked in. _

_"Oh Toris!" I didn't turn to him because I was busy, "Sorry to be a bother but could you sweep up the glass in the kitchen?" He nodded and started off while I got out bandages. _

_"I'm so clumsy..." She cried as I wrapped her wrists up. _

_"No you just need to be careful with wet dishes." I chuckled as her cheeks turned pink. _

_"I-I'm sorry!"_

_"Oh quit it." I gave her a hug, "Don't apologize, you didn't do anything wrong." _

_She hugged back as I felt her heart rate go up. _

_"I-I..." She stammered, "Thank you Eduard." _

_It felt like she was going to say something else though. My curiosity got the best of me, "What were really going to say Taska?" _

_Her face was becoming as maroon as her dress as she whimpered, "I-I wasn't going to say anything!" _

_I grinned feeling like a tease, "Come on I know you were going to say something else~!" _

_Just then I was pulled down to her face as she leaned forward into me. My eyes grew wider and my glasses began to fog up due to my heating face. _

_We were kissing. _

_And I was liking it. _

_I finally gained control of the situation and put her face in my hands as I held her closer. She carefully wrapped her arms around my neck as we took a breath only to go back in. _

_"Oh my!" She was gone in a second as Toris stood in the doorway shocked. _

_If only that could've lasted a little longer. _

_"Wha- oh I uh-" He was at a loss of words. _

_I wiped my glasses of their steam, "I-it's fine..." I wished my face didn't look so tomato like. _

* * *

_I stared at the piece of paper before me. _

_"Soviet Union...?" I looked to Toris for further clarification. _

_"Ah yes. You see there's this country, um Russia, and he wants to form an alliance. A communist union." _

_"Communist?" I didn't know much about the communism act, but I heard it was pretty good, I mean equal pay right? "Wait who's Russia?" _

_"Oh you know the country that used to be ruled by Tartar? That's him..." The Lithuanian was somewhat tense, apparently this wasn't his first encounter with Russia from what it seemed. _

_Then a thought occurred to me, "I think Latvia spoke to him when we were kids..." _

_"Huh really? Does she know anything about him?" _

_"I'm not sure... I told her to stay away from him... I knew Tartar was bad news. What makes you think Russia's okay now though huh?" _

_"I don't think he is... My boss just thinks it would be best..." _

_I sighed tiredly, "I'll have to think about it. Until then I'm not signing anything." _

_"I thought you would say that." He smiled slightly as Taska entered looking utterly horrified. _

_Our worry level went up, "What's wrong?" _

_"I-it's a m-marriage treaty..." _

* * *

_To pull a marriage treaty on the girl I love is a real bastard move. _

_Even if he didn't know, I still hated him for it. _

_I was now making my way to the study one girl at the door told me to go to. I was going to teach this Russian a lesson. _

_But when I walked in I saw Latvia. _

_With the man I predicted was Russia. _

_His hand was on her shoulder as she looked at me with tearful eyes. She had a look of fear with a mixture of anger in her expression. _

_"What did you do to her?!" I screamed feeling furious, if he hurt her... _

_He merely smiled, "The question is, what did you do comrade?" _

_I was confused until Taska burst out, "I signed it! I signed the treaty!" She began to bawl in what I think was shame but also still anger. _

_My heart dropped several floors. _

_She married him. _

* * *

After that I finally signed up too.

Not because I wanted to.

But because I needed to be there and protect her.

Because I've always loved Latvia.

Always loved Taska.

Who was going into a deep dark world with no warmth,

and no love.

She was tricked by his evil and now broken.

I needed to fix her.

I needed to.

* * *

**Yeah this was kind of... Uh... Random... LOOK I LIKE THIS PAIRING SO DEAL WITH IT OKAY! DX I've always wanted to write a EstFem!Lat fan fic, but I also wanted to write a Latvia breaks up with Russia fan fic too. So I smashed them together and they became one~! OH I apologize if my facts weren't historically correct, I didn't really want to get into the whole Soviet Union topic because it's very touchy you know? Also as for ages, Lat is 16 ish now and Esti is 18 ish. SO IT'S NOT CONSIDERED PEDO! **

**The beginning is sort of a look into the future thing, so you guys just went into a friggin time machine! Ain't that cool?! **

**Anything in italics is either a memory or thought ^^ **

**Taska (Yeah there isn't an official name for Fem!Lat, and I liked this Latvian name and decided to use it!)/Lat/Task/Aija= Latvia**

**Eddy/Eduard/Ed/Esti/Est= Estonia**

**Just warning you now, get ready for some feels to be crushed :( **


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry I haven't been updating! I'm doing some... Research I guess you could say. **

* * *

Latvia POV:

_I knew I wasn't supposed to be there, Estonia and my boss both warned me never to go by the border. But I couldn't resist, there was so many pretty sunflowers I wanted to pick. _

_But then, _

_Someone found me. _

_"Hello little girl." _

* * *

_I originally came to deny the proposal he had given me. I wasn't in love with him at all. But instead of working things out, I was pressed up against a wall, my wrists bonded together tightly by his hands and his body pressing against mine. _

_"Why would you say no Latvia~?" He looked at me with a sort of pouty face. _

_"I-I can't! I love Estonia!" I blurted out accidentally. _

_He laughed coldly and looked down at me, "You love him but he doesn't love you." _

_"H-how would you know that?!" _

_"Because if he loved you, then he would be here wouldn't he? He would kiss and hug you all the time and would say," He whispered the last part in my ear, "I love you." _

_He was somewhat right... But Estonia wouldn't say or do anything like that. He would keep his emotions to himself. _

_"M-maybe he does! You c-can't know!" I could feel tears building up in the corners of my eyes as he kept hold of the scars on my palms. _

_"I can..." He smiled creepily, "Remember he said you were just friends~?" _

_"H-he never said that!" _

_"I asked him." He looked truthful, he stared deep into my eyes, our violets combining, "He said you were only friends when I called asking if I could propose." _

_What? _

_But I thought... _

_There was a fiery pain in my chest as my eyes let the tears fall. A large lump formed in my throat as my fists clenched up, hurting my wounds. He let me drop to the ground in devastation. _

_He held me close and brushed my bangs out of my face; continued assuring me with kind words I couldn't hear past the breaking of my own heart. _

_"So will you sign it?" _

_"...Y-yes..." _

* * *

Now I wished I hadn't signed.

The years with Russia were pure torture.

But I didn't feel the pain until now.

I need the pain though, I deserve it.

After all it was my fault wasn't it?

It seemed like a long journey to the medicine cabinet.

Probably because my vision was blurred from rubbing my eyes too much. Now they were all puffy and pink.

I stopped and looked at my reflection in the mirror.

I didn't like it before, but now I hated myself even more.

With all the strength I had left, I threw it making it shatter into little bits, just as I felt.

I made it to the cupboard and took all the pill bottles from it, not bothering to read any labels.

Trembling, I twisted the caps off of them, then scattered the medication drugs on the counter.

One by one I started dry swallowing each of them.

One for no beauty.

Two for being weak.

Three for being stupid.

Four because it's my fault.

Five because I'm sorry.

He loves me.

He loves me not.

Six for him.

Seven for me.

Eight for dying.

Nine for crying.

Ten for Eduard.

Eduard.

That's the last thing I saw before I was finally out.

Finally gone.

Finally dead.

Just like _he_ would've wanted.

* * *

**I'm sorry for making Ivan the bad guy! DX **


End file.
